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  <title>MELISSA</title>
  <subtitle>Oh I've seen better days...</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>MELISSA</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2009-12-11T07:56:59Z</updated>
  <lj:journal userid="6960946" username="muhlyssa" type="personal"/>
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  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:195107</id>
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    <title>QUICK UPDATE</title>
    <published>2009-12-11T07:56:59Z</published>
    <updated>2009-12-11T07:56:59Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;7 MONTHS SOBER!&lt;br /&gt;7 MONTHS SOBER!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Every single day is a struggle for me but I'm doing it! I'm looking forward, never looking  back. Never letting my addiction get the best of me. I will always be an addict no matter how long I am clean BUT I am blessed with the support from everyone around me. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;SOBRIETY&amp;lt;3&lt;/center&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:194938</id>
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    <title>muhlyssa @ 2009-09-20T23:46:00</title>
    <published>2009-09-21T06:53:50Z</published>
    <updated>2009-09-21T06:53:50Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;Crystal Methamphetamine.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;METH= My Entrance To Hell. Today is the marking of my 4th month sober. Tonight I celebrate the fact that I saw my future in my eyes and I knew it wasn't bright with crystal meth in my life. I am fortunate enough to have seen what I was doing before it got out of hand and stopped it before my life was completely ruined. Tonight I celebrate saying NO, after that last hit on May 20th, 2009. Tonight I celebrate freedom, happiness, and a lifelong commitment to helping prevent that drug hurting anyone I know, or anybody I don't know. Tonight WE celebrate...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Complete sobriety.&lt;/center&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:194290</id>
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    <title>muhlyssa @ 2009-05-26T18:28:00</title>
    <published>2009-05-27T01:30:11Z</published>
    <updated>2009-05-27T01:30:11Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;I rarely come on here anymore.. I think it might be time to say goodbye to Live Journal.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I still have a myspace (myspace.com/yaymelissasmyspace)&lt;br /&gt;&amp;AIM (yaymelissason)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It's been a good few years&amp;hearts;&lt;br /&gt;PEACE&amp;LOVE-melissa&lt;/center&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:191224</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://muhlyssa.livejournal.com/191224.html"/>
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    <title>Drugs or Me?</title>
    <published>2009-03-07T21:18:01Z</published>
    <updated>2009-03-07T21:19:21Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;&lt;font size="2"&gt;crystal meth.&lt;br /&gt;the drug i said i'd never touch, never smell, never see. but there i was on the bed of a water stained motel room smoking that shit. smoking that shit and loving every second of it. it doesn't matter that i wasn't "addicted", or that i didn't do it every day. it doesn't mean that i don't know anything about it and that i wouldn't have turned out the way others have. it doesn't mean that i haven't seen things i wish i never saw or that i felt things that i wish i never felt. smoking it for even one night was enough for me to know. the first time i felt the rush in my body from just one hit, i knew i wanted more. i was willing to give up everything just to be with him and the drug and the night. just to feel good for 6-8 hours, i was willing to give up my friends, my family and my life. MY LIFE. it doesn't matter that i never became addicted to the drug because all that matters is i saw what i did and i did what i did and i experienced everything i needed to. or everything i never wanted to. right before it got out of control i stopped it. i screamed at the top of my lungs and i stopped. it was going from once a month to once a week to twice a week. god knows where it would have gone after that. and even though i put myself in those situations and i never refused it, when i did refuse it.. i was satisfied. for two months of my life i was in a black fucking hole, digging myself deeper and deeper. and i'm not quite sure what the fuck pulled me out, but i am so thankful i am not digging anymore. i'm alive, i am free. i am melissa AGAIN.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/center&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:183551</id>
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    <title>Tell Me You'll Remember...</title>
    <published>2008-10-07T06:24:40Z</published>
    <updated>2008-10-07T06:24:40Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;I think it's so fucking selfish when people leave your life and then come crawling back when its convenient for them. No, it's not okay for you to call me in the middle of the fucking night when YOU'RE ready for me. YES, I'll always be an ear for you to listen but NO I will not bend over backwards for you anymore. You haven't tried to call and you haven't tried to care but I KNOW YOU WILL sooner or later. So let this be a shout out to you and a fucking HINT, IF YOU'LL EVEN GET IT. If you are out of my life now DON'T COME BACK, Cause I'm better off.&lt;/center&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:180353</id>
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    <title>muhlyssa @ 2008-08-24T07:57:00</title>
    <published>2008-08-24T14:58:17Z</published>
    <updated>2008-08-24T14:58:17Z</updated>
    <content type="html">There's no better wake up call then having to leave work early to go to the emergency room. Pills and me are done.. way done. Please don't make the mistake I did.</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:muhlyssa:474</id>
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    <title>Access Denied</title>
    <published>2005-04-30T01:06:12Z</published>
    <updated>2008-07-30T01:47:58Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;center&gt;&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;-Friends Only-&lt;/b&gt;&lt;font size="2"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;cmnt to be added.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/center&gt;</content>
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